Count your many blessings

I've been wanting to post this for a while, now I finally have the time.

A few weeks ago the girls and I went for a drive to Park City, it was a Saturday, I figured we could hit a few yard sales and in the mean time let Erick sleep a little longer on his day of. I didn't get much , just some random stuff nothing to exciting. On the drive back both my girls were asleep, the radio was off and it was in complete silence, I started to admire the drive and think about life. I had been so stressed about a few things going on that I had forgotten about how blessed I really am. So that was the moment, the moment I thought about the many blessings I have. My husband is a wonderful man. He is very thoughtful, he has always provided us with what we need and a little more, he supports everything I do even my not so bright ideas, he has never stopped me from doing what I want. He loves the savior and our heavenly father and has a strong testimony of the true church. Erick loves me with all he is and shows it in many ways. I have two beautiful little girls , they are both healthy , smart and very special. The lord has never left us alone, he has always protected us and has blessed me with the companionship of the holy ghost. Just that morning I was driving to Park City a bit over the speed limit and all of a sudden I thought " just because it's daylight doesn't mean I can drive this fast I still don't know what's up ahead, I'd better slow down." Right when I started to slow down a deer ran across, I would have hit it had I not listened to the spirit telling me to slow down. I am so thankful for the gift of the holy ghost what would I be without it? I am blessed with having great in-laws, they support us in so many ways. When I need a break from the girls my mother in-law is always willing to watch them, they are both great parents and great friends to me I could not have asked for better in-laws. I have good health, we live in a nice place we have the truth in our lives, that's a big one I always think of how hard it is to not know what your purpose in this life is. How hard it is to not know why we are here and what will happen after this life. I'm blessed to know the truth and to know why, why we suffer and why we feel joy, why there is good and also much evil. It is to hard to just live day to day not knowing the purpose of this life not knowing why we are even here who made us and if being good is even worth it. I'm so grateful to my heavenly father for helping me find these answers. I'm thankful for prayer especially the prayers of thanks. It feels so good to be able to offer a prayer of thanks, nothing else but thanks. I think it's something we should all do from time to time, thank our creator for this beautiful world he has given us to enjoy, thank him for our families, our friends, our health, our jobs the trials that are sent to us and just simply our existence.

These are some pictures from the drive to my house. How can one not be thankful for the beautiful things the wold is made up of?

About Xanti/Parenting

Xanti is now four month's...CRAZY!!! I can't believe it, time really does fly. Xanti is a happy little baby that is filling our house with many smiles with dimples. She is getting cuter by the day, she gu's and ga's ALOT now, she grabs everything and anything "watch your earings around her" I love her so much! When she hears my voice she starts looking for me. Xanti is starting to interact more with her sister, they play this silly game where Nai'a comes running up to her and says silly things that I can't even understand, anyway it makes Xanti laugh allot. She giggles and is ticklish. She doesn't sleep very good anymore, I have to admit I really truly long for a good night sleep I don't think I remember what sleeping eight hours without interruptions feels like. We've given up eating out, between Xanti wanting to eat or being poopy right when they bring my food and Nai'a not being able to sit still and trying to make conversation with the table next to, across from or behind us, eating out has just become impossible.

Now, would I trade my two beautiful girls for a good nights sleep and eating out at a restaurant? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I love my girls, they make me a better person. I love having them both sit on my lap, Nai'a's little arms wrapped around my neck and Xanti will occasionally look up at me, her eyes sparkle with happiness, it's like she is saying thank you mom, I love you every time she looks up at me.

Raising children is not an easy task, they don't come with a manual so we have to rely on good advice from other parents, our own judgment, our prayers for help from the all mighty to help, good books and just learning from our mistakes.

Sometimes we think that we are so patient but really it is them that are patient with us, they've been put in our inexperienced hands hoping we love them, teach them and help them back to our heavenly father safely. It's a hard task possibly the hardest, but how rewarding is the job of a loving parent, the endless hugs and kisses, sometimes for no particular reason, those playful moments that make us forget our problems and fears. I would never trade my girls for anything , I gain so much from being a mother to them. I am so thankful for this opportunity that the lord has given me to raise such beautiful special spirits. I'm learning each day and sometime struggle to live up to the part but, each day I am rewarded with something you can't find in the world of man, something that can't be bought, and that is the love of a child, a love so real and so true that you can feel it without a single word having to be said and a single action having to be made. Thank you Nai'a and xanti. I love you.

Here are some pictures of cute little Xanti

What's Nai'a up to?

Nai'a has been enjoying mami and papi taking her to all the playgrounds and the spoiling of abuelo y abuela. They really do spoil her ,I don't think they ever tell her NO. Hey what are grandparents for? She can be quit a little brat at times but over all she is a great loving smart "very smart" almost three year old. WOW!!! I can't believe she is almost three I feel as if yesterday she was gooing and gaaing in my arms. all of a sudden she is dancing around ( she truly has a love and Passion for dancing) She loves lip stick, perfume, new shoes, boots in particular, modeling new clothes, blush, gum, lotion, sanitizer and washing her hands. We have potty training pretty much mastered except for nights. (so if you have any tips please share.) she really does love her baby sister even though she smothers her at times and I am constantly telling her to be gentle but when I put Xanti down for a nap and Nai'a doesn't see her she asks and looks for her, she says she is sorry for what ever bad thing she does to her and then gives her kisses. I love it when she plays with Xanti's feet because Xanti loves it and laughs so cute. I can't wait to see them really play. I love Nai'a so very much and sometimes I find myself looking at her and thinking... "I can't believe she is really mine" I feel so blessed to have her and watching her grow up seems so... I don't even have the words to express what I feel. I am enjoying her company so much more now. the other day we baked cookies together and she also helped me wash the dishes another day. I remember dreaming of this moment, back then I thought it would never come and now today it's here and I almost feel as if it got here to fast I enjoy it but it also means she is growing and becoming more of an individual. I don't know how I feel about her doing more of her own thing. She is so beautiful, she loves people, she says hi,bye and thank you to everyone she says her prayers all on her own and that makes me proud. I love you Nai'a and Xanti

Here are some pictures of My beautiful Nai'a

What have I been up to?

Me, well I've been with the girls running after Nai'a and making Xanti smile. I've been having great friends over for lunch, I really enjoy having them over, so please keep coming. I seem to be spending a lot of time in playgrounds and I don't know how many times a day I say " Nai'a no, please leave you sister alone, she is just a baby, she is your sister do you want her to cry?" I think I automatically repeat that now. I do get to enjoy watching her give her little sister a kiss and hug once in a while. that's always nicer that my everyday frase. I have been taking lots of long afternoon naps with my girls. I love it they both snuggle up to me and I just wouldn't trade that for anything. even if Erick makes fun of me, he says I sleep more that a new born pup, oh well I get to snuggle with my girls while I'm at it.

I got a new hair cut, not to thrilled about it. OK so I told the girl I wanted it shoulder length curly, amm she cut SIX inches of even after I told her to be careful because my hair is super curly. What was she thinking??? obviously not shoulder length. I don't mind it as much any more, it will grow right? what do you think? You like?

STRAIGHT

CURLY

erick update

So, Erick started a new job at Adidas, he totally loves it, he comes home with a new shirt or something at least once a week, with the excuse that he "needs it for work." Yea right he just loves the clothes and everything else there.

One of the most exciting things has happened to him at work. Last Wednesday two of his very favorite soccer players walked into the store, he almost died when they walked in, he helped them out and got to chat with them a little, he "had to" buy a Mexico team shirt so they could sign it. ("see what I mean here we go with the buying again") They were going to play that night and told Erick they would leave him tickets at the hotel they were staying at so he could go see them, he took his dad. how fun!!! It was so cute to see him as excited as a little boy getting his first soccer ball. His team lost. BUMMER!!! but at least he was there to cheer them on.




How cool is this???

Thank You Leith

Five years ago tomorrow August 18th I gave birth to a baby boy. Leith Angel Cabrera. Leith was born four months early so the chances of his survival were very slim. He was a fighter, he lived four days and then the Lord called him back home.

It's been a struggle to live life without him. For the first about six months I was mad, mad at God. How could he have done this to me? I loved my baby from the moment I knew he excited I had all these plans and dreams. I truly anticipated the day I would hold him in my arms and rock him, the day he would take his first step, the day I would push him on a swing, his first day school, the day he would serve a mission and then find a good wife. Never in a thousand thoughts did I imagine I wouldn't get to walk these footsteps with my son. I couldn't even Begin to try to understand why this had happened to me. I shut myself out of everything and everyone. there was nothing anyone could say or do to bring him back so I wanted nothing to do with anyone. That was a hard thing to over come I almost lost my husband, the love of my life because of the way I had decided to deal with this big trial. I always said I believed in the plan and that I trusted God, but when this happened I realized how weak my testimony really was. What I affirmed I believed had now turned into a great uncertainty.

I wasn't exactly living righteously at the time, in fact my testimony was just talk and no action, so that made it even harder. I started to realize I was loosing everything including myself, I sat down on my bed one night and analyzed my life and what I truly wanted, I remembered my baptism and how strongly I felt the spirit when the missionary sisters taught me. I truly felt that what they taught me was true, so then why wasn't I living by it? "Wake up Yonessy enough is enough". "Today is the day". "No more"! It was time to start accepting my trial and asking, What? What do you want me to learn from this? Not why did you do this to me?

Erick had shared with me his feelings about eternal families. "see baby, we haven't lost him forever", he would say. That was hard to believe since we hadn't even entered the temple. He tried to help me as much as he could but I couldn't except, my soul ached, I felt as though the reason to live had been lost. so He said to me, "I have tried to help you, and there is nothing else I can do. What you need to do is pray for some kind of revelation, that's what you need to do". Ask God". So a week before I decided to start asking what instead of why I did what Erick suggested I prayed and asked for something to help me with my pain. The Lord answered about a week after my plead. I had a dream, Leith was about three or four and he was in a crib standing up and reaching out his hand though the bars and he said to me "Mama don't cry for me anymore, I'm OK and I'm waiting for you." That's what made me analyze my life and make the decision to start accepting.

Of course I want to see my son again, yes I want to be his eternal mother.It was as if I could see again. The Lord saw we were drifting away from his path, he loves us so much that he sent us a trail to help us back to the right road. He sent us Leith to push us back to him to make us want eternal life, he know we wouldn't want to be left without the opportunity to raise our son. He knew that would help guide us back.

It's been a long journey and many many tears have rolled down my cheeks it really has not been an easy road, but thanks to Leith's death we are an eternal family I believe that had he not come and left I would still be lost living an unworthy pointless life. It's been a struggle to realize the purpose of this hard trial but, today I can say I am living and feeling happy about my life even though at times I do find myself shedding a few tears, they are different kind of tears, it's hard to explain but they are not painful tears more like longing, longing to be with my son. I must admit I do let my mind drift a little and wonder what it would have been like to raise him, what kind of personality he would have had and what he would have looked like. I'm thankful for the lord's plan and for the choice I made to follow it. I know that if I continue to follow heavenly father's plan the time will come where I won't have to wonder what it would have been like, I will know what it's like, I will be reunited with my son. The time that I lost on earth without him won't even matter because I'll have him for eternity.

I want to take this time to thank my loving husband for standing by me and never leaving me alone. I want to thank him for never giving up on us and for his strong testimony that during the first years while I was struggling to gain mine served as an anchor for the both of us.

I'd like to thank God for choosing us to bare this trial and be eternal parents to such a special being. he is our Angel.
I love you Leith and I will never stop being amazed by what a big impact your very short life left on our family. I love you. sigue esperandonos en el cielo. TE AMO

missing home

Lately I've been so so home sick. I feel so distant and alone.
I wish I could sit on my moms lap and have her nibble on my ears like she did when I was a little girl. I miss her peeking in at me late at night to see if I was OK. I use to wake up an hour earlier just so I could crawl into her bed and cuddle.
If I close my eyes really really tight and think about home and the family I left behind I could almost hear the sound of the music playing in the streets, I wave back at the people that walk by, some complete strangers yet the urge to pass on the love and joy they feel in there simple lives is so valuable. I could almost feel the breeze cooling my body from such a hot day. I can see my mom pulling me up to dance bachata while we wait for the rice to cook. Now I'm jumping off a cliff and land into the perfect clear blue water... a perfect splash. I can hear my friends cheering me on as we begin to walk up the cliff to do all over again. I can smell the salt in the sea and hear the airplane flying up above. the sky is so blue there is barley a cloud insight. Now I am on our balcony hanging out with my mom. she loves it when I run my fingers through her hair and painting her toenails has always been my favorite... she has perfect feet. i miss eating her food so much and yet no matter how hard I try I can't remember what it taste like. I can't help but wonder... will I ever see her again in this life? Will I get to taste her delicious food once again? Will I be able to feel her tender loving arms wrapped around me once more? or will I have to wait until the next life to feel the joy of having my mother next to me?
My mother has taught me things that make me who I am today. I am a sharing person thanks to her. I remember that whenever she went to a friends house they would give her candy or a chocolate and she would always bring me half no matter the size or how good it was she always saved me half. I have a strong relationship with the savior because ever since I was little she talked to me about him and when I was sick she always told me to stay close to him and ask him for strength. My mother is my best friend and my hero. I only pray that I may be the kind of mother she is. If I can love my girls the way she loves me I know my girls will turn out great and will never feel alone in this world where a good friend can be hard to come by.